What it is
Compersion is the warm, happy feeling of seeing your partner enjoy themselves, including with someone else. It’s a word from the polyamory world that fits these dynamics well.
Variations
- Sexual compersion. Arousal from your partner’s pleasure.
- Emotional compersion. Happiness that they feel desired and free.
- Mixed. Compersion and jealousy at the same time, which is very common.
Why it matters
Most couples who enjoy hotwifing or cuckolding long-term describe some compersion. It’s what turns “I’m allowing this” into “I love this for you.”
How to grow it
Notice the moments you feel it, however small, and say so. Talk through jealousy without judging it. It usually points at a need, like reassurance or more time together.
Ground rules
- You don’t have to feel compersion to be “doing it right.”
- Jealousy is information, not failure.
- Keep talking, especially when feelings are mixed.